The Minor Minecraftian Gods
by Malamute456
Summary: You know of Notch, God of Creation. You know of Herobrine, God of destruction. But there are more gods than that! Just like Greek mythology, Minecraftia has some minor gods! Here they are with their stories. Each chapter will end with a poem! My first fanfic so go easy on me!
1. Sky, God of Ore

The miner dug down deeper and deeper with his iron pickaxe. He had been down here for hours, finding nothing but lapis. He hasn't even found a cave in weeks.

"Oh my GAWD! When will I find something, for crying out loud! This is HOPELESS!" exclaimed Adam as he broke yet another block of lapis. He had three stacks at this point. "I thought the point of this world was to find different resources, not get stuck with nothing but FREAKING LAPIS!"

Just as he broke the last block of the lapis vein he was mining, he noticed something different: an ore of the most brilliant yellow. "What's this?! Something that _isn't _lapis?! Sure took long enough…" He mined the ore and searched his mind for what it was called.

_"'Gold?' It isn't the least bit shiny or metallic looking!" _thought Adam as he found the answer in his mind. "_With that shade of yellow, it looks more like a piece of butter! I'll call it butter…" _With that fresh in his mind, he decided to head back to his house.

When he returned home, he discovered that one of the most retarded, and by far most annoying, creatures in Minecraftia had spawned in the pond near his house.

"Hey! Hey, it's you! Hey! I'm over here! Look at me! Look at me over here! Hey! What's that yellow stuff you got there? What is it? Hey, I'm asking you a question! Hey! Look at me! Look at-"

"Oh my god, squid, shut up already!" Adam yelled before killing the squid with his iron sword to shut it up. Freaking squids…

Adam went into his house and began to experiment with the butter. He smelted it and decided to make a pickaxe with it too see if he could use it to replace his nearly broken iron one. He took the butter pickaxe and tested it on a stone block.

"HOLY COW! THAT'S INSANE!" exclaimed Adam as the stone broke in less than a second. "I think I just found my new pickaxe!" Then he looked at it. Breaking one block had done some damage. It was still in fair condition, but far from mint. "Well, if it mines like THAT, I think I can live with replacing it often enough!"

"Finally! Someone gets it!" exclaimed Notch as he appeared beside Adam, who started in response to his sudden appearance. "Adam, you're the first person to appreciate this fine ore. I respect you greatly for that. You have made me very pleased. Is there something I can do for you as thanks for appreciating my work?"

"Holy cow! NOTCH?! You want to do something for ME?!" asked a very surprised Adam.

"Yes. I can do anything for you. I can give you full stacks of diamond blocks. I can give you a pack of a hundred tamed wolves. I can give you a horse that will be easy to tame. I can make you a god. I can give you full diamond armor with all the best enchantments. I can give you Dinnerbone nametags to use. Anything."

"That whole 'god' thing sounds pretty cool…"

"Done. As a god, you will need a new name. You will also need something to be the god of. Got any ideas?"

Adam thought for a moment. "How about 'Sky: God of Ore' because of the irony."

"Just for the irony, huh? Alrighty then!" With that, Notch vanished, leaving Sky bathed in light.

"Woah! I feel so POWERFUL! I feel like I could do ANYTHING! First things first, I'll need more butter if I'm to see these ores I'm the god of!"

_This is the first tale you will hear_

_Of the leaders you hold dear._

_The god of iron, coal, and stone_

_Sits upon his butter throne._

_Minecraftians, heed the call._

_Journey to the butter hall._

_But do not go! I've more to tell_

_Of the child born in Hell._

_The god of chaos, death, and fire_

_Has a son with an Empire._


	2. Rage, God of Success

**(Heeeeeeeeellllooooooo people! Thank you for supporting me in my first fanfic! And J.I.D.o.M. (wtf username) , I bet you 3 budder ingots you guessed right! XD)**

The scientist looked down at his creation. It looked like a normal spider, but it was bigger and had different markings. It also had gills.

"This," Josh addressed his observing employees, "is a new species of spider! I have been working in the genetics lab for weeks, and here is the result! As the creator of this species, I shall name it! It shall be known as the fishspider!"

"Real original, Josh. You made a spider with gills and couldn't think of a better name?!" remarked Josh's intern, Timothy.

"Timothy, would you kindly stfu? I don't even know why I hired you…"

"Because my dad gives you private funding!"

Josh sighed, "Anyways, I want you to study the fishspider and see how it behaves. I also want you to breed a ton of them. And maybe mutate some so they are huge and shoot lasers, just to see what would happen. Now get to work before I feed you to my dragon!"

The employees shivered thinking of the giant dragon of fire and lava. They quickly got to work.

Josh went back to his office. He went behind his decadent as f*** desk and pushed the hidden button. Pistons retracted, revealing a Nether portal behind the wall. Josh stepped through without hesitation.

He was immediately greeted by _Him._ _He _was smiling, as usual, but not his creepy "I'm about to kill you and everyone you know because I feel like it" smile. This smile was warm and full of pried.

"Josh, I'm proud of you. Not only have you _created_ something new, you did so without any divine power!" The white-eyed man offered his son a hug, which Josh gratefully accepted. Herobrine isn't exactly known for hugging, so a hug from _Him _was rarer than a vein of 100 emerald ores in an ocean biome.

"Thanks, dad. It was pretty hard. **(lol dats wat she said) **Especially with my conscience telling me, 'You know what, Josh? I don't like this whole _creating _thing, so I'm going to constantly nag you about how your dad's the god of destruction!' the entire bloody time."

Herobrine nodded and said, "It usually is difficult for my children to create _anything_, let alone a new species! Most of them can hardly keep from blowing up there dirt houses with TNT. But _you_, Josh, _you _are clearly stronger than all of them! If I was in your position, there would be TNT craters in a 10 mile radius around me." _He _closed his eyes and thought for moment. "You don't deserve this."

"What do you mean?" Josh didn't know if he was being insulted or complemented.

_He _went on, "You don't deserve to live a short life and then just die. _You _deserve what _I _have. If my brother can give divinity to a random mortal, I can surely do the same for my own son!"

Josh smiled mischievously. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?!"

"Yes, my son. What shall your name be? What shall you be for?"

Josh answered immediately, "RAGE: GOD OF SUCCESS!"

This _startled_ Herobrine. "You've thought of this before?"

"Well, DUH! I've been thinking about that since I learned that my dad was a god!"

Herobrine chuckled, "You really _are _my son. Rage: God of Success it is!"

Golden **(note: this is rage not sky, so butter is gold)** fire surrounded Rage as the power filled him. He smiled and said, "This is going to be fun."

_Quickbuild, Worms, Battle Heaven Forever,_

_All won by Rage with his skills so clever._

_He built up a city, then a kingdom so grand._

_His name is revered all across the land._

_The fishspider thrived then escaped from the crew._

_Rage used this to build a whole industry, too._

_Our next god is really a fool._

_It took him forever to craft a stone tool._

_And who is this man? It's really quite clear._

_Audience? What are you doing here?_


	3. Tobuscus, God of Battle

**(Hello once again, audience! When we left off, I was telling you how Rage became a god. And now it's time for Tobuscus. lol Seriously, thank you for all the reviews!)**

Toby placed the last eye of ender and the portal opened. Being the n00b he is, he threw an item to test it, only for the item to fall into the lava below. He filled the lava with cobblestone just in case, and jumped threw the portal.

He spawned on an obsidian platform underground. It took him a while to figure out that he needed to dig up to escape. Meanwhile the Enderdragon attacked him. 3 times.

"YOU SUCK!" Toby yelled at the dragon. "You suck and you're going to get a piece of my mind!" He somehow figured out that he needed to destroy the healing crystals. He also looked at several endermen. Then he failed at shooting the crystals, wasting several arrows.

After seemingly eternity, Toby _somehow _slew the dragon and, even more surprising, collected the egg. He jumped through the portal and returned home. To this day, nobody knows how he did it.

"Of all the people in Minecraftia, _you _defeated the Enderdragon?!" Notch said to Toby when he appeared back at the stronghold.

"Oh my Notch! You're Notch! I'M TALKING TO NOTCH!" Toby exclaimed.

Notch sighed. "Yes, Toby. Well, at the beginning of time I promised immortality to whoever defeated the Enderdragon, so that means-"

"I GET TO BE A GOD?!" Toby interrupted.

"Unfortunately for the rest of us, yes." _"At least he can't choose his name or domain. That would be worse than Herobrine with the explosives+ mod…" _thought Notch. "Toby Turner, Player of Games, you are now and will forever be Tobuscus, God of Battle. You also get a very special sword. It has 3 diamonds instead of 2." Notch offered Tobuscus the diamond sword.

Tobuscus took the sword, a goofy grin wide across his face, and yelled as loud as he could, "YES! I AM THE LORD OF DIAMOND SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORDSSSSSSSSS!"

_Notch help us all... Er… I mean… Uh…_

_The Enderdragon he did kill,_

_The one we thought had zero skill._

_Darkness, redness, and then white,_

_All hail the god of the fight._

_Do not worry! We aren't done!_

_This next part will be very fun._

_"Do you think he will ever learn?"_

_Shut up, Wade, it's not your turn!_


	4. Markiplier, God of Charity

**(Here's a story about me: I had writer's block, so I decided to play Minecraft for "just a couple minutes" to try and think of something. One dead enderdragon later, I remembered I had a story to write! XD WOOOOO I DID IT! lol Seriously though, here's your story! P.S. I learned how to use lines! lol)**

* * *

"Alright guys! That'll do it for this video! Say goodbye, Bob!"

"Goodbye, Bob!"

"That joke stopped being funny a long time ago." Mark sighed, "Say goodbye, Wade."

"Goodbye, Wade!"

"Oh shut up, Wade. Alright then. BYE BYYYYYYYYYE!" Mark turned off the camera.

"How much money did we raise this time, Mark?" asked Bob.

"Hold on, I'll check." Mark looked at his clipboard. "We raised $7,000 this time!"

"I think we should give it to cancer research!" Wade suggested.

"Shut up, Wade, no one cares what you think. Bob?"

"How about we give it to cancer research?" Bob asked. Wade facepalmed.

"That's a GREAT idea, Bob!" Mark exclaimed. Wade double facepalmed.

* * *

Mark took the money to donate it at a local hospital. On his way there, a very strange man stopped him. This man had a teal shirt and blue jeans. He wore very dark sunglasses.

"Where are you going, buddy?" the man asked. Mark could swear his voice had a slight echo effect to it.

"I'm taking this money to donate to cancer research. Now if you'll excuse me…" Mark tried to get moving again, but the man put his hand on Mark's shoulder to stop him. His hand was icy cold. "Dude! I've got to going before they close!"

"I cannot allow you to donate this money, Mark." Mark had no idea how he knew his name. "There are _supposed _to be diseases like this, and you aren't _meant _to cure them."

"Dude, what's wrong with you?! Do you _want _more people to die?!" Mark tried to get away, but the man held his grip on Mark's shoulder.

"Seeing how that is basically my reason to exist, yes." The man snapped his fingers, and suddenly Mark was alone in his home, no money or creepy men in sight.

"What?!" Mark was so confused. He wasn't sure what had just happened to him. He was trying to piece it all together when he heard a knock on his door. He went to answer.

"OH MY WHAT?!" he yelled when he opened the door to see who it was. It was Notch.

"Hello, Mark. I'm here to help you," Notch said.

"Help me? What do you mean?" Mark was even more confused.

"By donating to help create a cure for cancer, you have angered my brother. He created the disease, and he doesn't want mortals to be able to escape it. Obviously, what he thinks is wrong. It's not his fault really, but that's another story **(hint hint)**. Anyways, you, Mark, are too valuable to this good cause to be killed by my brother, so I need to do something to protect you."

"Well what do you need to do?" asked Mark. He didn't know where this was going.

"I need to make you immortal."

"WOAH! WHAT?! REALLY?!" Mark couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Yes, Mark. You need to become a god. Your life doesn't need to change or anything. You won't have to move to Aether. Now just tell me what your godly name will be, God of Charity."

Mark thought for a minute, deciding to just combine his name with a random word. Finally he said, "How about 'Markiplier?'"

"Sounds fine to me." With that, Notch vanished. Markiplier went to tell Bob and Wade what had happened.

* * *

_Markiplier soared to greatness,_

_But first he had to deal with this mess._

_Herobrine was angered still._

_Markiplier defied his will._

_He called his son to fight for him._

_For these gods, their fates sure are grim._

_Each shall ally with another_

_Before they're forced to fight each other._

_Two heroes of Notch, they shall unite._

_Another must betray to fight._

_One of them will side with Rage_

_So they all can escape this cage._

_But for now, our story's done._

_For you guys, I'm sure 'twas fun._

_Why not take time and review?_

_I'll be making a part two! _


End file.
